


Pick-up lines

by Tinybooks



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Fluff, Pick-Up Lines, Stydia, bar au, stydia au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinybooks/pseuds/Tinybooks
Summary: Stiles really loves witty girls who could destroy him. Lydia likes a challenge





	Pick-up lines

I’m going to marry this girl. Yes, I just met her an hour ago and no, we have not spoken a single word to each other but I am, I swear. Now normally I don’t go around to bars looking for my future wife but to be fair she found me (sort of). For one, she was gorgeous, the kind the beautiful that started the Trojan war. She was alone at the bar, which isn’t something I witnessed a lot and now I know why. If you're a beautiful women, alone, at a bar you WILL be hit on by every single (sometimes not) man in the room. I have never seen anyone deflect unwanted attention from a man as quickly, snarky, and as classy as this girl has. So far four guys have come up to her and every one of her responses are pure gold. 

The first guy had used this brilliant pick up line. “I would walk to the ends of the earth for you.” 

She cooly said, “Yes, but would you stay there?”

Then a forty-something, human embodiment of a douchebag, cockily busted out “I know how to please a woman.” 

The redhead glared at him. “Good, then would you….please leave the building.” Turned back around and continued to drink.

A guy dressed like a cowboy because who can resist a cowboy?!? EVERYONE . Smoothly stated “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” with his thick bushy eyebrow raised for maximum seduction.

The girl, without looking up, deadpanned, “Unfertilized.” I started to choke on my drink, when she said that, with laughter. She looked over at me and the corners of her red painted lips lifted up. I raised my cup and nodded my head in return. She watched me with a puzzled look on her face then to my surprise, she got up and sat down next to me. 

She held out her hand, “I’m Lydia.”

I stared at it for a good solid minute, then slowly took it in my hand and shook it. I cleared my throat. “Mine is- my name- Stiles?” 

Her brow rose up “Are you asking me if Stiles is your name?”

“No! No no, hmmm I know my name. It’s Stiles.” I shut my eyes and banged my head on the table. “Sorry, I’m a little flustered.” 

Lydia smirked at me “I’m making you flustered?” She was going to eat me alive. 

“I-yes-no? It's just you’re you and hmmm I’m me?” I took a deep breath. “I mean, is you’re beautiful and I’ve watched you pick these confident assholes apart and I’m this.” gesturing to all of me.

She pursed her lips and studied me “Well I’m not sitting with them, am I.”

I smiled at her her “No, no you’re not.” She was better up close then I could have dreamed up.”You seem to have the perfect comeback for every one of their stupid lines, when you get through with them they look like they were just smacked between the eyes!” Lydia laughed softly at that “How do you do it?! Are you a witch?”

She looked tucked a piece of fiery hair behind her ear, god I wanted to do that. “No, I just happen to do a genesis and very witty.” I stared at her. “What? I have an IQ of 187.”

“Can you come home with me and meet my dad?” I said dumbly. 

She shook her head in amusement “I really hope that wasn't a pickup line.” Oh God, I was so stupid.

“Oh my God, no! I would never do that to you.” I hoped she could see how truthful I was being, I just wanted to keep talking to her.

She stirred her drink and said: “Good because I would rip you limb from limb and you can’t do anything about it.” She seemed so confident in that but I was pretty witty myself.

“Really? You have a come back for every pickup line?” She nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You want to bet on it, smartass?”

Now it was her turn to choke on her drink. “Did you just sass me?” I shrugged innocently.”Okay tough guy, bring it on. What kind of bet.” 

I thought for a moment, then grinned widely “If I win you have to do a marathon with me.” 

She laughed “Sweetheart I don’t run unless my life is in danger.” 

I smirked at her. “Not that kind of marathon,” her face changed to a confused puppy look, she even tilted her head. “A movie marathon….of Star Wars.” Lydia’s jaw dropped and her eyes grew “Every. single. one.”

She glared at me with, I kid you not the power of a thousand suns. I should have been burnt to a crisp but the grace of God I was spared from her glare. “And what do I get when I win.”

I leaned back in my seat and took a long sip of my drink. “Whatever you want.” 

Now it was her turn to smirk, oh boy I’m going to regret saying that. “Whatever I want? hmm, I like the sound of that.” I groaned, what was this girl going to do to me! “I’ll think of something you can do for me I’m sure.” Yup, I regret it. “So what are we playing then?”

“You say that you have a come back for every pickup line, let's put a test to that if I can come up with a line that you don’t I win.” I stated 

She stuck out her perfectly manicured hand to me “It’s bet then.” Lydia took a big drink and then looked pointedly at me “Okay, go at Tiger.” 

I raised a surprised eyebrow, did-did she just make a spiderman reference? good god. “I’ll start off easy for you, princess,” she snorted “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”

She grinned widely “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” she ordered another drink like she knew this would take awhile.

“Okay smartass, your body's a temple baby.” 

She gave me a look of disgust “I pray to god you have never used that one on a woman.”

“Stop stalling Lydia and answer the very inappropriate statement.”  
I was starting to get a little cocky if you couldn’t tell

She cleared her throat and cracked her neck like she was getting ready for a fight. “Sorry, there are no services today.” 

I leaned way back in my chair I thought I had her with that one. This went on for another hour before I realized I was going to have to be creative. I looked around the crowded bar for inspiration, then I spotted the Christmas tree in the corner and it hit me. I grinned wolfishly at Lydia and cracked my knuckles mirroring her from earlier. “Hi I’m Chris,” I paused for dramatics “as in Christmas came early.” 

Lydia bent over and burst out laughing, she almost fell out of her chair. When she looked up I could see tears in her eyes. “That was so cheesy God,” she wiped some of the tears from her fair face 

“Do you have a response.” She was looked at me with those doe green eyes and they were blank. 

Lydia shook her head in aspiration and dropped her hair on to the bar and groaned, I got her. “I-I-Chris isn’t even your name, that doesn’t even count!” 

I rose from my sit in outrage. “It does too count, I won you don’t have a comeback.” She huffed and crossed her arms, Lydia wouldn’t look at me. “Now you have to watch all of the Star Wars.”

When I opened my apartment door I didn’t think I would find Lydia Martin on the other side in a too big flannel and leggings with her long hair in a messy bun. “Let's do this,” she said and ducked under my arm into my living room. Stunned, I slowly turned around and followed her, like it was her place. She was plopped down on my old leather couch and already had a fuzzy blanket on her. “Well, are you going to sit down?” I’ve never run to my couch so fast in my life.

I only found out years later that she threw the game.

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know your thoughts or any stories you would like to see


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